Hi! This is my story. "about me", the journey I'm taking steps to start, what my life has looked like, my struggles, turn ons, sex life, why I'm here & what content I will post. So currently I'm a 42. I'm average, real, I have physical flaws that comes from life & age. I have struggled w/ body acceptance. I'm not there yet but taking on a idgaf stance. A decade in a basically sexless relationship, the last of my youthful years wasted. I did everything to get my bfs attention no luck. He struggled w/ ED, Desire, libido. He says he is a "addict" but clean lol that dirty boy wasn't, I hate lies 1000s of lies he text, email claiming honesty, I know different all the signs were there. I would find myself masturbating to his emails full of lies. His constant looking at porn, jacking off at work daily. Turned me on, he knews this, deprived me. I have explained "don't worry about sex, let me see what a dirty boy you are. I will take care of myself" just let me peek. He says "I can't give you what's not there" trying desperately to convince me. I just wanted to get off too. Why wont he share with me?. I made him videos he didn't watch, sent him pics he didn't open. I ended up finding a couple young men that loved to jack off for me. Something I like. I want this. I asked to be called mommy one day, it turned me on. I want to make up for lost time. I want sex, I want to fuck myself, I want the things that turn me on, I want to find new things to turn me on. I will upload along the way. maybe the security camera I forget about, or vids he didn't want, me exploring what gets me off, where will it evolve. Is this my road to perhaps MommyDom? Or just a path of collecting kinks making up time?